Discovering the neglected poetry of Charlotte Mew made me turn back to the famous essay by Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own, which is based on two lectures that she gave at two Cambridge colleges--Newnham and Girton--in October, 1928. She had been asked to speak on women and fiction but what she did was to explore women's circumstances and the effect of those circumstances on their artistic work.
Woolf begins with the Elizabethan age and compares the circumstances of Shakespeare to that of Judith, a sister she creates for him. Shakespeare was educated, free to roam the countryside "and had, rather sooner than he should have done, to marry a woman in the neighbourhood, who bore him a child rather quicker than was right." He left for London and the rest is history. Judith was "as adventurous, as imaginative, as agog to see the world" as Shakespeare was. However, she was not educated nor was she free. She tried to read some of her brother's books by Horace or Virgil "but then her parents came in and told her to mend the stockings or mind the stew and not moon about with books and papers." So she ran away to London to try to get work in the theater. What she found instead of work was the actor-manager of the theater who "took pity on her; she found herself with child by that gentleman and so--who shall measure the heat and violence of the poet's heart when caught and tangled in a woman's body--killed herself one winter's night and lies buried at some cross-roads where the omnibuses now stop outside the Elephant and Castle."
What amount of heat and violence did Mew have in her heart? She committed suicide when she was 59. At the same age, Woolf drowned herself in the river Ouse. The "Room" of the title of Woolf's essay is a symbol for a specific kind of independence that includes freedom from social, religious, and legal constraints. I think that we, today, have come further in finding such a room. Yet I'm not sure.
I notice that you don't mention an independence from relationships. Those that are included " . . . social, religious, and legal constraints." are what I call "The Shoulds".
ReplyDeleteIt is freedom for society, religious and some legal restraints that we, as women, are told we "should" be doing.
I can see it clearly in others, not so clearly in myself, that when they get tied up in knots, obsess, freak out, start panicking, that there are conflicting "shoulds" in their minds. I "should" be a good wife, but I also "should" have a life of my own.
I not only see this in women, but in my male relatives as well. Dan upset that he can't do what he "should" be able to do, and so over-does. McKey trying to figure out how to live with no money, having a difficult time accepting help, because at his age, he "should" be making a living. Bringing up the deep recession we are in, is not a big help because he is the one who "should" be able to make it work.
I did leave out relationships from the "shoulds". I knew, because I had a chronic illness, two guys with severe learning differences, that I would have to put off, my own "Room". I didn't think it would take this long. Snicker. To me, relationships are all there is that is real in the world. It's our power base for going out into the space where we are subjected to people trying to control us by limiting us by "society, religious and legal restraints".
People, including family members that are not my parents or guys, see me as a laid back woman. I couldn't be further from that. I'm fine until I see someone going over the line and telling me or someone else what they are or aren't, or what they can or can not do.
At that point, I become an Alpha B. So I guess, I have "shoulds" also. Be polite, caring and responsive to others, or I'll jump down your throat.
I don't think Woolf meant to include relationships. She was very close to her sister, Vanessa Bell, throughout her life and she (Woolf) had a very loving and caring husband in Leonard. She knew that. In fact, she would not have been able to do as much writing as she did if it hadn't been for Leonard's care. Woolf was more concerned about the inequality imposed on women both by tradition and by the three constraints: social, religious, legal. She felt all of those things were invented by the patriarchal system. (I agree with her.)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd include relationships either, as long as it's a happy, healthy relationship. Of course, because of social constrictions, many women become involved in less than good relationships. I got married at eighteen, for example, because it was expected of women. The marriage only lasted seven years.
I'm not sure what an Alpha B personality is. I think that whole division into types is fascinating. Not sure what type I am but I'd like to be Alpha A (like Zoe!) Take care.
Are you sure Woolf wasn't a dog? snicker
ReplyDeleteI also got married at 18. After seven years we decided to "save" the marriage and have a child. Rob and McKey are they only good thing to have come from that relationship.
Alpha Bitch! I was trying to be polite.
What concerns me is the swing back towards the Patriarchal System.
Though even the patriarchal system can't keep us Alpha Bitches down.
That's right...alpha is the type. I get it.
ReplyDeleteNo. We can't be kept down!! LOL
The swing back....hmmmmm. Many young women take things for granted not knowing anything about women's history. They may have to learn the hard way.